The Other Name Read online

  ‘Jon Fosse is a major European writer.’

  — Karl Ove Knausgaard, author of My Struggle

  ‘The Beckett of the twenty-first century.’

  — Le Monde

  ‘Fosse has written a strange mystical moebius strip of a novel, in which an artist struggles with faith and loneliness, and watches himself, or versions of himself, fall away into the lower depths. The social world seems distant and foggy in this profound, existential narrative, which is only the first part of what promises to be a major work of Scandinavian fiction.’

  — Hari Kunzru, author of White Tears

  ‘Fosse has been compared to Ibsen and to Beckett, and it is easy to see his work as Ibsen stripped down to its emotional essentials. But it is much more. For one thing, it has a fierce poetic simplicity.’

  — New York Times

  ‘Undoubtedly one of the world’s most important and versatile literary voices.’

  — Irish Examiner

  ‘Fosse is one of our most distinctive authors, a mystic whose language allows nature to live, a poet who with his voice makes prose sing.’

  — Dagbladet

  ‘Jon Fosse has managed, like few others, to carve out a literary form of his own.’

  — Nordic Council Literary Prize

  THE OTHER NAME:

  SEPTOLOGY I-II

  JON FOSSE

  Translated by

  DAMION SEARLS

  To Anna

  ‘And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written, which no one knows except him who receives it.’

  — Revelation

  ‘Dona nobis pacem.’

  — Agnus Dei

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  I

  II

  About the Authors

  Copyright

  I

  And I see myself standing and looking at the picture with the two lines that cross in the middle, one purple line, one brown line, it’s a painting wider than it is high and I see that I’ve painted the lines slowly, the paint is thick, two long wide lines, and they’ve dripped, where the brown line and purple line cross the colours blend beautifully and drip and I’m thinking this isn’t a picture but suddenly the picture is the way it’s supposed to be, it’s done, there’s nothing more to do on it, I think, it’s time to put it away, I don’t want to stand here at the easel any more, I don’t want to look at it any more, I think, and I think today’s Monday and I think I have to put this picture away with the other ones I’m working on but am not done with, the canvases on stretchers leaning against the wall between the bedroom door and the hall door under the hook with the brown leather shoulderbag on it, the bag where I keep my sketch-pad and pencil, and then I look at the two stacks of finished paintings propped against the wall next to the kitchen door, I already have ten or so big paintings finished plus four or five small ones, something like that, fourteen paintings in all in two stacks next to each other by the kitchen door, since I’m about to have a show, most of the paintings are approximately square, as they put it, I think, but sometimes I also paint long narrow ones and the one with the two lines crossing is noticeably oblong, as they put it, but I don’t want to put this one into the show because I don’t like it much, maybe all things considered it’s not really a painting, just two lines, or maybe I want to keep it for myself and not sell it? I like to keep my best pictures, not sell them, and maybe this is one of them, even though I don’t like it? yes, maybe I do want to hold onto it even if you might say it’s a failed painting? I don’t know why I’d want to keep it, with the bunch of other pictures I have up in the attic, in a storage room, instead of getting rid of it, or maybe, anyway, maybe Åsleik wants the picture? yes, to give Sister as a Christmas present? because every year during Advent I give him a painting that he gives to Sister as a Christmas present and I get meat and fish and firewood and other things from him, yes, and I mustn’t forget, as Åsleik always says, that he shovels the snow from my driveway in the winter too, yes, he says things like that too, and when I say what a painting like that can sell for in Bjørgvin Åsleik says he can’t believe people would pay so much for a painting, anyway whoever does pay that much money must have a lot of it, he says, and I say I know what you mean about it being a lot of money, I think so too, and Åsleik says well in that case he’s getting a really good deal, in that case it’s a very expensive Christmas present he’s giving Sister every year, he says, and I say yes, yes, and then we both fall silent, and then I say that I do give him a little money for the salt-cured lamb ribs for Christmas, dry-cured mutton, salt cod, firewood, and for shovelling the snow, maybe a bag with some groceries that I bought in Bjørgvin when I’ve gone there to run an errand, I say, and he says, a little embarassed, yes I do do that, fair’s fair, he says, and I think I shouldn’t have said that, Åsleik doesn’t want to accept money or anything else from me, but when I think about how I have enough money to get by and he has almost none, yes, well, I slip him a few more bills, quickly, furtively, as if neither of us knows it’s happening, and when I go run errands in Bjørgvin I always buy something for Åsleik, I think, because I may not make much money but he makes almost nothing compared to me, I think, and I look at the stack of finished paintings with the homemade stretchers they’re on facing out and every painting has a title painted in thick black oil paint on the top board of the stretcher, and the painting I’m looking at the back of, at the front of the stack, is called And the Waves Beat Their Message, titles are very important to me, they’re part of the picture itself, and I always paint the title in black on the top of the stretcher, I make my stretchers myself, I always have and I always will as long as I paint pictures, I think, and I think that there may actually be too many paintings here for a show but I’ll take them all to The Beyer Gallery anyway, Beyer can put some of them in the side room of the gallery, in The Bank, as he calls the room where he stores pictures that aren’t in the show, I think, and then I take another look at the picture with the two lines crossing, both in impasto as they put it, and the paint has run a little and where the lines cross the colours have turned such a strange colour, a beautiful colour, with no name, they usually don’t have names because obviously there can’t be names for all the countless colours in the world, I think and I step a few feet back from the picture and stop and look at it and then turn off the light and stand there looking at the picture in the dark, because it’s dark outside, at this time of year it’s dark, or almost dark, all day long, I think and I look at the picture and my eyes get used to the darkness and I see the lines, see them cross, and I see that there’s a soft light in the painting, yes, a soft invisible light, well then yes so it probably is a good painting, maybe, I think, and I don’t want to look at the picture any more, I think, but still I’m standing and looking at it, I have to stop looking at it now, I think, and then I look at the round table over by the window, there are two chairs next to it and one of them, the one on the left, that’s where I sat and sit, and the right-hand one was where Ales always sat, when she was still alive, but then she died, too young, and I don’t want to think about that, and my sister Alida, she died too young too, and I don’t want to think about that either, I think, and I see myself sitting there in my chair looking out at the fixed point in the waters of the Sygne Sea that I always look at, my landmark, with the tops of the pines that grow below my house in the middle of the centre pane in the bisected window, in the right-hand part, because the window is divided in two and both parts can be opened and each side is divided into three rows and the tops of the pines will be in the middle row of the right side and I can make out the pines and I’ve found the mark, right at the midline I can see waves out there in the darkness
and I see myself sitting there looking at the waves and I see myself walking over to my car where it’s parked in front of The Beyer Gallery, I’m there in my long black coat with my brown leather bag over my shoulder, I’ve just been to The Coffeehouse, I didn’t have much of an appetite, I often don’t, and just skip dinner, but today I’ve had a simple open-faced ground-beef sandwich with onions and now the day’s over and I’ve bought everything I wanted to buy in Bjørgvin so now it’s time for me to drive home to Dylgja, after all it’s a long drive, I think, and I get into the car, I put the brown shoulderbag down on the passenger seat and start the car and then leave Bjørgvin the way Beyer taught me, one day he showed me the way, showed me how to drive into Bjørgvin and out of Bjørgvin, how to get to The Beyer Gallery and then leave The Beyer Gallery the same way going in the opposite direction, I think, and I’m driving out of Bjørgvin and I fall into the nice stupor you can get into while you’re driving and I realize I’m driving right past the apartment building where Asle lives, in Sailor’s Cove, right at the edge of the sea, there’s a little wharf in front of it, I think, and I see Asle lying there on his sofa and he’s shaking, his whole body’s shivering, and Asle thinks can’t this shaking stop? and he’s thinking he slept on the couch last night because he couldn’t get up and get undressed and go lie down in bed, and the dog, he couldn’t even, Bragi, the dog, couldn’t go outside, and he’s still drunk, he thinks, really drunk, and he needs to stop shaking so badly, his whole body’s shaking, not just his hands, Asle thinks and he thinks that now he really has to get up and go to the kitchen and get a little something to drink to stop the shaking, because last night he didn’t get undressed and go to bed, no, he just stayed where he was and passed out on the sofa, he thinks, and now he’s lying here staring into space while his body keeps shaking, he thinks, and everything is, yes, what is it? an emptiness? a nothingness? a distance? yes, maybe yes, yes maybe it’s a distance, he thinks, and now he has to go pour himself a little drink so that the worst of the shaking will go away, Asle thinks, and then, then, he’ll go outside and go out to sea, that’s what he’ll do, Asle thinks, that’s the only thing he wants, the only thing he longs to do is go away, disappear, the way his sister Alida went away back when she was a child, she just lay there, dead in her bed, Sister, Asle thinks, and the way the neighbour boy went away, Bård was his name, he fell off his father’s rowboat into the sea and he couldn’t swim and he didn’t make it back on board the boat or back to land, Asle thinks and he thinks now he’ll make an effort and get up and then go to the kitchen and pour himself a stiff drink so the shaking stops a little and then he’ll walk around the apartment and turn off the lights, walk around the whole apartment and make sure everything is neat and organized, and then leave, lock the door, go down to the sea and then go out to sea and just keep going out into the sea, Asle thinks, and he thinks that thought again and again, it’s the only thought he can think, the thought that he’s going to go out to sea, he thinks, that he’s going to disappear into the sea, into the nothingness of the waves, Asle thinks and the thought goes around and around in his head, it won’t stop, it just keeps on circling around, this one thought is all that’s real, everything else is empty distance, empty closeness, no, nothing is empty, but it’s something like empty, there in this darkness, and every other thought he tries to think he can’t think, the other thoughts are too hard, even the idea that he should raise his arm seems too hard, and he realizes he’s shaking, even though he’s not moving his whole body’s shaking and why can’t he manage the thought of getting up? of lifting his hand? why is the only thought he can think that he wants to go out to sea? that he wants to drink enough to make the shaking stop and then turn off the lights in the apartment, maybe straighten up the apartment if it needs it, because everything needs to be neat and tidy before he goes away, Asle thinks, and he thinks that maybe he should’ve written something to The Boy, but The Boy is a grown man now, isn’t he, he hasn’t been a child for a long time, he lives in Oslo, or maybe he could call him? but he doesn’t like talking on the phone and neither does The Boy, Asle thinks, or maybe he should write to Liv? after all they were married for many years, but they were divorced so long ago that there are no hard feelings between them, because he can’t go away just like that without saying goodbye to someone, that feels wrong, but the other woman he was married to, Siv, he can’t even bear to think about her, she just left and took The Son and The Daughter away and moved far away from him, she’d left before he knew it, he hadn’t thought about getting divorced at all and she told him she’d had enough and took The Son and The Daughter and left, she had already found a new place for herself and them, she said, and he never noticed anything, Asle thinks, and then for a while The Son and The Daughter came to spend every weekend with him, he thinks, but then Siv found a new husband and she took The Son and The Daughter and moved to a place somewhere in Trøndelag to be with this new man, she took the children and went away and then he was alone again and then Siv wrote and said he had to pay for this and that and as soon as she asked him he paid her, whenever he had money, he thinks, and why think about that? Asle thinks, it’s just something that happened, now everything’s been taken care of, everything’s ready, all the painting supplies are in their proper place there on the table and the pictures are leaning against the wall, stretchers facing out, the brushes are in a neat row, all cleaned, big to small, all wiped clean with turpentine, and the tubes of paint are also arranged properly, next to each other, full to empty, every cap screwed on tight, and there’s nothing on the easel, everything’s clean and taken care of and in its proper place and he’s just lying there shaking, not thinking anything, just shaking and then he again thinks he should get up and leave and lock the door and then go out and then go down to the sea and out into the sea, go out into the sea, go out until the waves crash over him and he disappears into the sea, he thinks it again and again, otherwise nothing, otherwise the darkness of nothingness, the way it sometimes sweeps through him in quick glimpses like an illumination and yes, yes, then he’s filled with a kind of happiness and he thinks that there might be a place somewhere that’s an empty nothingness, an empty light, and just think, what if everything could be like that? he thinks, could be empty light? imagine a place like that? in its emptiness, in its shining emptiness? in its nothingness? Asle thinks and while he thinks about a place like that, which is obviously no place, he thinks, he falls into a kind of sleep that isn’t like sleep but more a bodily movement where he’s not moving, despite all his shaking, yes, he’s been shaking the whole time, everything’s heavy and hard and there’s a place in the big heaviness that’s an unbelievably gentle shining light, like faith, yes, like a promise, Asle thinks and I see him lying there in the living room, or studio, whatever it’s called, I think, he’s lying on the sofa next to the window looking out over the sea and there’s a table by the sofa and a couple of closed sketch-pads on the table and some pencils, all in a neat row, it’s his room, Asle’s room, just that, I think, and everything in his room is neat and tidy and hanging on one wall is a large canvas with the stretcher facing out, the picture turned to the wall, and I see that Asle has painted A Shining Darkness on the stretcher in black paint, so that must be the title of the painting, I think, and there’s a roll of canvas in a corner of the room, there are pieces of wood for making stretchers in another corner, I see, and I see Asle lying there on the sofa and his body is shaking and he’s thinking that he has to go get a drink so he can stop shaking and he sits up and then he’s sitting on the sofa and he’s thinking that now he really needs a cigarette but he’s shaking so much he can’t even roll a cigarette so he takes one out of the pack lying on the coffee table, he gets a cigarette out of the pack and gets it into his mouth and gets his matches out of his pocket and strikes a match and manages to light the cigarette and he takes a good drag and thinks he won’t take this cigarette out of his mouth, the ashes can just fall wherever they fall, and now he definitely needs a glass of something
, Asle thinks, and he keeps shaking and he manages to put the matches back in his pocket and he bends over the ashtray on the coffee table and spits the cigarette down into the ashtray and I’m driving north and I think I should stop by and see Asle, I shouldn’t just drive past his house here in Sailor’s Cove, but I can’t stop him from going out to sea and going out into the sea if he wants to, if that’s what he really wants to do he’ll do it, I think and I’m driving north and I see myself standing and looking at the picture with the two lines that cross and I see myself go to the kitchen in my old house, because it is an old house, and an old kitchen, and I see that everything’s in its proper place and the sink and the kitchen table have been dried off, I see, everything is clean and nice, the way it should be, and I see myself go into the bathroom, turn on the light, and there too everything’s neat and organized, the sink is clean, the toilet’s clean, and I see myself stop in front of the mirror and I see my thin grey hair, my grey stubble, and I run my hands through my hair and then take off the black hairband holding my hair back and my hair falls long and thin and grey down over my shoulders, down onto my chest, and I push my fingers through my hair, pull my hair back behind my ears, then I take the black hairband and gather my hair and tie it back with it and then I go out into the hall and I see my black coat hanging there, how many years have I had that coat now? I think, no one could ever accuse me of buying lots of clothes I don’t need, I think, and I see some scarves hanging on a hook and I think that I have a lot of scarves because Ales used to give me scarves for Christmas or as a birthday present, since that’s what I wanted, she asked what I wanted and I usually said I wanted a scarf and then that’s what I got, I think and I go into the living room, or studio, whatever it’s called, really it’s both, but I call it the main room or the living room and I see the brown leather shoulderbag hanging on the hook above the paintings I’ve put aside, the ones I’m not totally satisfied with, the ones leaning against the wall between the bedroom door and the hall door, and when I go out I always take the brown shoulderbag with me and I keep a sketch-pad and pencil in it, I think, and I see the shoulderbag there on the passenger seat next to me and I’m driving north and I think how I’m looking forward to getting back home to my good old house in Dylgja and I see myself standing and looking at the round table by the window and the two empty chairs next to the table, there’s a black velvet jacket hanging over the back of one of the chairs, yes, the jacket I’m wearing, there on the chair closest to the bench, the chair where I always used to sit, and Ales used to sit in the chair next to it, that was her chair, I think, and I see myself stand back up and look at the picture with the two lines that cross, I don’t like looking at the picture but I sort of have to, I think, and I’m driving north in the dark and I see Asle sitting there on the sofa and he’s looking at something and he’s not looking at anything, he’s shaking, trembling, he’s shaking the whole time, he’s trembling, and he’s dressed just like I’m dressed, black pants and pullover, and over the back of the chair next to the coffee table is a black velvet jacket just like the one I have and usually hang on the back of the chair by the round table, and his hair is grey, it’s pulled back to his neck in a black hairband the way my hair is, and his grey stubble, I have grey stubble too that I trim once a week or so, I think, and I see Asle sitting there on the sofa and his whole body’s shaking and he lifts a hand slightly, in front of him, a bit to the side, and his hands shake and he thinks that it seems better now, easier, for some reason, and he thinks he needs to eat a little something but he’s shaking so much that the first thing he needs to do is get up and go get something to drink, he thinks, sitting there on the sofa, and I think I can’t just leave Asle alone when he’s like that, I shouldn’t have just driven past his building in Sailor’s Cove, I should go see him, he needs me now, I think, but I’ve already driven a long way past the building where Asle lives, and I shouldn’t have done that, and maybe I should turn around and drive back? but I’m so tired, I think, and I drive north and I see an old brown house at the side of the road and it’s falling down, I see that a few roof tiles are missing, and that’s where Ales and I used to live, I think, and it seems like such a long time ago, almost in a different life, I think and I drive past the house and after I’ve driven a bit farther I see a turnoff and steer into it and pull over and stop the car and then I’m sitting in the car, just sitting, not thinking anything, not doing anything, just sitting there, then I think why on earth did I stop at this turnoff? I’ve never stopped here before, even though I’ve driven past it so many times, no really I need to get home now, I should’ve gone to see Asle but now it’s too late, I think, and I keep sitting in the car and I think that maybe I’ll say a prayer and then I think about the people who call themselves Christians and who think, or in any case used to think, that a child needs to be baptized to be saved, and at the same time they think that God is all-powerful, and so why is baptism necessary for salvation? can’t God do whatever he wants? if he’s all-powerful then mustn’t it be his will whether or not someone’s baptized? no, it’s crazy to believe that baptism is necessary for salvation, no it’s too much, I think and I notice that the thought makes me happy, the thought of the folly of the Christians who think that salvation requires baptism, how could they ever have come to think that, the idea is so stupid, so obviously stupid that you can’t even laugh, such obvious stupidity is nothing to laugh at, nor is the foolishness of the people who call themselves Christians, many of them, not all of them, obviously, I think and I think that people who think like that can’t have big thoughts about God, and I think about Jesus, how much he loved children, how he said that children were of the kingdom of God, that they belonged to the kingdom of God, and that is a beautiful and true thought, I think, so why would they need baptism to become that? since they belong to the kingdom of God already? I think, and I think that baptism, child baptism, is all well and good but it’s for mankind’s sake, not for God, it’s important for people or at least it can be important, or maybe it’s just for the church, yes really it’s mostly for the church, but it can’t be for God, or for the children who are part of the kingdom of God already, and we must be as they are, we must become as little children to enter into the kingdom of Heaven, that’s what the Bible says, I think and I think no, now I need to stop, now I’m thinking foolishly myself, thinking about other people’s folly while my own thoughts don’t make sense, they’re never clear enough, they don’t fit together, of course you don’t need to be dipped in water to be baptized, you can also be baptized in yourself, by the spirit you have inside yourself, the other person you have and are, the other person you get when you’re born as a human being, I think, and all of them, all the different people, both the ones who lived in earlier times and the ones who are still alive, are just baptized inside themselves, not with water in a church, not by a priest, they’re baptized by the other person they’ve been given and have inside them, and maybe through their connection with other people, the connection of common understanding, of shared meaning, yes, what language also has and is, I think and I think that some people are baptized, as children or as adults, yes, some are washed clean with water, with holy water, I think, and that’s all well and good in its own terms but no more than that, and every single baptism of this or that person is a baptism of everyone, that’s what I think, a baptism for all mankind, because everyone’s connected, the living and the dead, those who haven’t been born yet, and what one person does can in a way not be separated from what another person does, I think, yes, just as Christ lived, died, and was resurrected and was one with God as a human being that’s how all people are, just by virtue of being men and women in Christ, whether they want to be or not, bound to God in and through Jesus Christ, the Son of Man, whether they know it or not, whether they believe it or not, that’s how it is, it’s true either way, I think, Christianity knows a thing or two too, and sure enough I converted to the Catholic Church myself, something I probably never would’ve done if it hadn�
�t been for Ales since I didn’t even agree with the Catholic Church about child baptism, but I never regretted converting, I think, because the Catholic faith has given me a lot, and I consider myself a Christian, yes, a little like the way I consider myself a Communist or at least a Socialist, and I pray with my rosary every single day, yes, I pray several times a day and I go to mass as often as I can, for it too, yes, mass too has its truth, the way baptism has its truth, yes, baptism is also a part of the truth, it too can also lead to, yes, lead to God, I think, or at least to God insofar as I can imagine Him, but there are also other ways of thinking and believing that are true, other ways of honestly turning to God, maybe you use the word God or maybe you know too much to do that, or are too shy when confronted with the unknown divinity, but everything leads to God, so that all religions are one, I think, and that’s how religion and art go together, because the Bible and the liturgy are fiction and poetry and painting, are literature and drama and visual art, and they all have truth in them, because of course the arts have their truth, I think, but now I can’t just keep sitting and frittering away my time thinking confused thoughts like this, I think, I need to keep driving north and get back home to Dylgja, to my good old house, I have to stop sitting here freezing in my car, I have to start the engine and then drive to Dylgja, because I like driving, it gives me a certain peace, I fall into a kind of stupor, yes, to be honest it gives me a kind of happiness, and the thought of getting back home to Dylgja and back to my good old house makes me happy too, I think, even if I’m sorry I’m going back to an empty house now that Ales has died, no, that’s not true, because even if Ales has been dead a long time she’s still there in the house, I think, and I think that I should’ve found myself a dog because I’ve always liked dogs, and cats too, but I’d rather have a dog, there can be a greater friendship with a dog, I think and I’ve thought it so many times but I’ve never gone ahead and done it, got a dog, I don’t really know why, maybe it’s because I’d still rather be alone with Ales? because even though she’s dead she’s still there in a way, I think, or maybe I should just go ahead and get a dog? I think, but Asle has a dog, yes, he’s had a dog for all these years, I think, and I think I shouldn’t have just driven past Asle’s building, someone like him the way he is now can’t just be left alone, weighed down as he is now, so weighed down by his own stone, a trembling stone, a weight so heavy that it’s pushing him down into the ground, I think, so I should turn around and drive back towards Bjørgvin, I think, and I should go see Asle, I think, I have to help pull him out of himself, I think and I see Asle sitting there on the sofa and he’s shaking and shaking, I should have driven back, he needs me, but I’m tired and I want to get home, I want to keep driving north, driving home, because I’ve been to Bjørgvin and I’ve gone shopping for canvases at The Art Supply Shop and I bought wood for the stretchers at The Hardware Store, and I bought a lot of groceries, and now I want to drive back home to Dylgja right now, I think, and actually it did cross my mind to stay in Bjørgvin and go to evening mass at St Paul’s Church but I was too tired, maybe I’ll just drive back to Bjørgvin next Sunday to go to morning mass, I haven’t been to mass in a long time so it’d be good to take communion, and then I can go see Asle, I think and I see him sitting there on the sofa and he’s shaking and shaking, but doesn’t he need to go walk his dog now? I think and I see Bragi lying there by the hall door waiting to be let out and I see Bragi get up and pad over to the sofa and then jump up on the sofa and lie in Asle’s lap and then he’s just lying there and the dog is shaking too and Asle can’t move, he can’t even lift his hand, can’t say a word, just to say one single word feels like too much for him, it’s as though he’d have to force himself to do it, he thinks, but now, yes, now for some reason his thoughts aren’t so fixed any more, they’re not going around and around in the same circle now, not any more, his thoughts have begun to calm down now that the dog has come and lay in his lap, he thinks